One of the benefits of getting older is definitely the wisdom/experience you get from living, namely your screw ups. I know it was someone famous who said something to the regard of, “I love my mistakes. I learn from every one of them.” If no one famous said it, then I just did and you can quote me.

The reason I bring it up is partly because Naomi had a really rough day and the world came out to console her. People gave well wishes, which she needed and rightly deserved, advice was tossed around, but I saw a different situation. I related to Naomi that when my wife sometimes tells me about her bad days, I used to assume that she was looking to me for advice but really only wanted me to listen to her while she vented. This one took me a few tries before I finally figured it out to really listen and wait for the question. If she doesn’t look at me with inquiry or blatantly ask me what I think, then I limit my comments to consolation only.

The hardest part about this is recognizing when someone is really asking for your input without actually asking. Oddly, the one woman I’ve known all my life is the hardest to gauge. My mom called and left a message the other day about things we’re working on together, but mentioned how a personal issue was getting in the way a bit. I could tell that she was a bit distressed by it, so I called her back and asked. She told me what was going on and the way she was talking to me was as if she wanted my input. Boy was I wrong on that. After what turned into a heated debate, we finally calmed down and apologized for getting to feisty. You would think after 37 years, I’d know when to keep my mouth shut. However, I wasn’t completely at fault.

My mom and I have a history of misunderstanding each other. We also really know how to punch each other’s buttons and I apparently said something that got her going and she automatically assumed I was lecturing. The problem is that the conversation escalates once we both get a misreading on the other’s point of view. It’s ugly and we’ll probably never figure it out. We love each other, but we don’t always know how to talk to each other.

So thinking back to the situation I had with Adie, I realized that he never asked for anyone’s input. However, he did post it on a blog and openly allows comments, so should he just accept what gets said there. I don’t necessarily think he should sit idly by when some punk like me challenges him a bit, but he definitely needs to learn how to gauge the conversation and respond A LOT better.

Long story shortened, we should all learn to open our ears long before we open our mouths, especially when it comes to clients. I really need to work on that. I invite all 3 of my readers to chime in and lend their own input anytime.

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There’s been this flu bug going around this area lately and I got a double dose of it starting last week. In being completely miserable, I pretty much ignored all my normal rituals, including keeping up on my RSS feeds. So this morning I jump onto Google Reader and give a premature wince knowing that I’ve got a lot of perusing to do, but when it read 485 posts, I went from wince to shock and awe in about .485 seconds.

I get over my initial response and just get to reading through. I peruse a lot of post and some I just mark as read without reading because it’s not missing anything important there. I notice, though, that one category of feeds is jammed with stuff, the lions share of posts. I don’t even both looking at those thinking I’ll get to them later because I need to write a post for Mom by Friday. That was around 7am this morning.

Here it is just after 2pm and I’m going through my posts again, but the number jumped up again to well over 300 post. I’m dismayed. Is there some major blogging push that I wasn’t aware or today?

Quick investigation finds the culprit to be one of my more recent subscriptions. Interior design blog, Apartment Therapy, stands atop the heap at a whopping 210 posts in less than a week. A.T. is a great site, but if this is the rate at which they publish, the insurmountable task of reading them everyday seems ridiculous. If they didn’t generate a lot of design inspiration, I would have kicked them off my reader in an instant.

I can see it already; they’ll be that blog I dread and ignore because I’m way behind in reading. Does anyone at A.T. think that maybe they’re pushing it a little hard? I can’t even imagine there being that much content on interior design each week.

Not sure what to do about it yet, but I know there’s a blog somewhere that talks about the negatives of obsessive posting.

This video is several months old, but I saw it for the first time today. If this Dateline Video doesn’t choke you up, check your pulse. You’re probably already dead.

During the holidays, take some time to remember all those soldiers overseas who won’t be making it home for Christmas. Prayers out to them and their families.

Sorry I can’t embed the video. For some reason Youtube doesn’t like this blog.

I recently started reading Guy Kawasaki’s Art of the Start not necessarily because I was looking to start my own company, but more because I kept reading how good the book is. Part way into the book, Guy talks about bootstrapping a new startup and instead of using proven professionals who can be expensive, pick people with less experience and more exuberance. These folks don’t know what they can’t do, so they’ll try anything because they’re not as fearful of failing, or if they do fail, they’ll pick themselves up and try again.

I was a dot-bust casualty just prior to 9/11. Working for a small design studio that catered to some booming companies who eventually all went belly-up because of bad business models. When they were gone, half the staff was laid off including myself. The job market was severe, so I decided without hesitation that I was going to freelance. I was blissfully ignorant because I thought for sure I could handle it. I was wrong. I failed and eventually had to take a corporate job which I’ve been at ever since.

Talking a Good Game
I can’t even count how many times I’ve told myself I’m going to start doing more freelance consulting. I’ve repeated the process so many times, I’m beginning to think it starts with the lunar cycle. I have been making forward momentum though.

Over the past year, I’ve tried to ingest as much knowledge as possible because stepping away from the table for a few years left me a bit out of practice, especially when it came to new technology. I’ve read numerous books and subscribed to countless blogs. I’ve learned a lot but I realized I also became a bit more gun-shy about venturing out on my own because here are all these people that are smarter than me and doing it better. I sometimes feel like I can’t compete with these other pros.

Before I Knew You
The upside to blogging is building relationships with some really amazing folks, and in the marketing arena, it seems like there’s a lot of cohesion and support for one another. This is great, but the more I talk to them, the less confident I feel about my abilities. Then came Guy Kawasaki and another poignant lesson. With his comments about working with folks that “don’t know what they don’t know”, I realized that my problem was my lack of ignorance.

Before I knew any of these other marketers, I felt like I had what it takes to be a successful consultant. Now I’m more knowledgeable and better equipped, but less likely to make the jump. How screwy is that? If I had a therapist, he might say I just had a breakthrough. Now I just have to remember what its like to be ignorant without actually being ignorant.

The funny thing about breakthroughs is that they aren’t a fix, but rather just a realization that you’re somehow broken. The fixing takes time. Thankfully I have a few people I’m working with that are extremely appreciative of my work and advice. Without them, I’d probably still be second guessing myself instead of finally making plans to build a business.

Thanks to them and thanks to those fellow marketing geniuses that have helped me, directly or indirectly. Even though I’ll be pretending to be ignorant, I won’t forget you when I’m nationwide.

I just to got the proverbial bitch-slap from the drummer of Nirvana. Okay, so now he’s the super mega rock star guitarist from Foo Fighters, but that title doesn’t have as much cache, I think. Either way, he’s a smart dude. I got to meet the man once on one of my many nights living vicariously through my rockstar cousin and I can attest to his smarts as well as his extreme likability.

Reading through the latest issue of Esquire, I come across a small piece about the rocker in the “Man At His Best” section. It’s a small piece that notes of Grohl’s cornerstone philosophies. Allow me to share 6 reasons why he is smarter than you.

1. Dress For the Life You Want
   It shouldn’t be about career ambitions. It’s not rocket science. I manage this organization with no shoes on and a Mr. Bubble t-shirt with chili all over it. There’s more to life than work. Your heart has to work to do what we do—to write songs and to jump on stage after you’ve been on the road for two years. It’ll kill you if you don’t.
2. Love Your Family Like You Love Your Guitar
   I had a revelation after meeting Neil Young and his family that you can make music forever so long as you have something outside of it to keep you inspired. The time I spend with the band is amazing and so much fun that it makes me want to puke. But the love I get from my family keeps me energized and alive enough to keep up with the music. I’d be fucked without one or the other.
3. Moderation in All Things
   I’m nearly 40. The last thing I want to do is wake up with a raging hangover and have to listen to Elmo songs with my daughter. I might be able to drink longer now; I just don’t drink a soften. If I get a night out with some friends and Jägermeister, it’s going to be a long night, and somebody’s going home with a cracked rib.
4. An Audience is an Audience
   To me, music was an escape from working int a furniture warehouse. It still feels like that. And at the end of the day, does it matter how many people are standing in front of you when you place a song? You’re still going to play music. I’d be just as happy as I am now if I was at the shithole down the street playing Creedence covers for six people.
5. Try to be in Two Incredibly Successful Bands. If Not, That’s Okay.
   When I think of Nirvana, I think of Krist, Kurt and me. I think about us driving through Canadian snowstorms in a van leaking fuel. We reek like guys working in a gas station. I think about us selling equipment for food. I don’t think about number-one records. I think of it like any other band I’ve been in, although that was the one that touched the most people. But I don’t wear it like a badge. For starters, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. And beyond that, it starts sitting like a chip on your shoulder. I was in a huge band at one point in my life and I can’t believe that it happened to me, but I’m not looking back.
6. Man Up
   Anybody who has to focus on being real has a problem. It’s like having a panic attack over how you’re prone to panic attacks. Be a guy. Play music.

I was going to apply these all to a life other than being a rock-star, but you’re all smart people. I’m sure you can figure out how these rules apply to you. Now go forth and rock out!

On a final note, major props to Esquire for being the coolest mens mag on the planet. There was no byline on the piece, so I’m not sure exactly who to give credit to, but whoever you are, nice job.