God, I hope not. I recently picked up the latest issue of New American Paintings which is always a constant source of inspiration. It’s also a constant source of disdain because of the ridiculous artist submitted bios. Indulge me and read some of these for yourself.

I seek to undermine the delineation of the human subject from the space it inhabits… I am concerned with the conflict that arises between the desire for presence and the fear of absence - Frank Ryan

Frank, it’s a painting of a guy getting a haircut outside, next to a trashcan.

Most important to the process is my strong conviction that intuition is integral in the development of the individual. - Thomas Pathé

Funny, looks like big blocks of color to me.

As I spend much of my day in meditative intimacy with my subject, I cannot help but be ever more deeply aware of the water’s vital importance and precarious fate in the world - Will Noble

Precarious fate? It’s water, not a lemming. Can we be a little less melodramatic?

The whole book is filled with stuff like this. I understand the desire to paint a verbal picture of your work even if the reader is staring right at it, but is it really necessary to go on these esoteric jaunts in order to sound more artistic? Whatever happened to straight talk? Perhaps not as colorful, but a little less off-putting if you say, “I like water features. The idea of the journey that water makes is compelling.” Or how about, “I paint large swaths of color because they remind me of certain memories from my life. This yellow one represents the day I got kicked off the school bus for teasing Jenny Harper.”

As an art fan, I’d much rather hear the story behind the pieces than some fluffy, transcendental exploration into your subconscious, or whatever it was that compelled you to mix those odd combinations of phrases just because that’s what the other artists in the book were doing.

I’ve also noted that the more education an artist has, the more “colorful” their descriptions become. Some college attendance equals some basic descriptions and a dabble into the depths of their thought process. BFA’s equals philosophical justification behind the artwork. A Masters degree obviously gives you the right to embellish your words to the fullest extent because it’s if the reader doesn’t get it, well, then they shouldn’t be buying art in the first place. I didn’t see any PHD’s in fine art, but I’m sure that means they only speak with their minds and ignore all underlings completely.

I have complete respect for all these artists regardless of their subject matter, but please, get over yourselves. We’re impressed with your brush skill, not your big brain.

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!